11

On Parents

Parents play a major part in education. More than anybody else, they mold the worldview of the children. It is therefore essential for an educational institution to have regular interaction with parents so that the home and the school do not espouse conflicting teachings.

In preschool and grade school, the character and habits of the children are mainly formed at home. It is not uncommon that children of these ages develop dependence, fear, resentment or disrespect towards their parents. They may also see violence between their parents when the latter quarrel. The wholesome growth of these children would be difficult when the home environments are conducive towards the development of neurosis, fear, insecurity, violence, etc.

Each educational institution therefore must also involve parents in its activities. In fact, in many cases, the school must educate the parents on parenting. The parents must be exposed to ideas and approaches that contribute to enlightened parenting.

Most parents grew up learning life-coping mechanisms that are not very effective, such as anger, aggressiveness, timidity, lying or suppression. This has two effects:

• Because these mechanisms are not effective, they develop tension and stress due to external pressure, which in turn worsen these tendencies towards anger and emotional distress.
• Their children see how they cope with conflicts and problems, and they become the models of their children; thus the children grow up conditioned with these unwise approaches to problem-solving.

It is helpful therefore for schools to hold parenting sessions where parents will learn how to

• deal with their own emotional distresses and push buttons
• be clear about their hierarchy of values
• nurture self-discipline in children
• behaviorally express their love and care towards their children
• handle marital conflicts
• provide an environment that will nurture the intelligence of the children

In our experience, parents appreciate learning about these things because they themselves are at a loss on how to handle their family problems. When they see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, they feel relieved. Many of them actually take the effort to try to transform their own lives for the sake of their families.