5

On Discipline and Rules

A school needs rules, and certain standards of discipline must be followed. If the school will not instill fear, what guarantee do we have that we will not have chaos since children are not afraid to face consequences?

In considering this issue, the size of the school or the class must be considered. When the number of students is small, then the school can spend time in individual counseling sessions that will enable students to appreciate the need for discipline, such that the students will voluntarily cooperate with the rules.

When the student population is large, however, this kind of one-on-one counseling becomes more difficult. But this also depends upon how many percent of the students violate the rules of the school.

In a school where the students have been nurtured according to our school’s way of life since kindergarten, then this problem will have less chances of arising. The students have developed the attitudes and the habits that are compatible with the rules of the school. When there are transferees, then the school must spend time to talk to them, and let them undergo transformation from a fidgety child that lacks self-discipline, to one who has developed self-awareness and self-discipline.

It is important however that in instilling wholesome behavior, it is best that the student be inspired or drawn towards such behavior rather than be coerced. This now depends upon the inspirational power of the teachers themselves. For example, when a teacher cheerfully rearranges the chairs and tables after use, then invites the students to help her, the students may respond very favorably. When however the teacher just stands there and orders students around with an imposing and frightening face, then the students may just do so in her presence but will not be motivated to behave constructively when the teacher is not around.

Let us take some examples of sources of unwholesome behavior among students.

Hyperactivity. This is particularly true for younger children. The teachers must remember that this does not make them “bad” or “naughty” children. They are just full of energy, and oftentimes this energy is not stable or flowing smoothly. Thus there is restlessness, fidgetiness, tendency towards violence, and similar behavior. The teacher must observe the manifestations of bodily energy (including ch’i) in the child, and see whether the energy instability can be normalized by exercise, activities that release pent-up energy, self-awareness processing, or similar methods.

Violence. This takes a number of forms. Some violence comes from excess energy coupled with impatience or frustration. Or it can come from habitual behavior in the house that has been tolerated by the parents. Or it can be low self-esteem manifesting as bullying. In these cases, the children must be understood and observed, and the appropriate approach to correct such psychological factors can be made by the teacher or counselor.

No Motivation. Some children are passive or defiant. They may either have low energy levels (which can be corrected) or they are just manifesting a conditioned reaction pattern towards adults or authorities that have been formed due to unwise parenting techniques. Then the teacher needs to attend to both the student and the parents. The student must be treated with patience, because a coercive attitude of the teachers will only reinforce the resistant mind-set of the student. At the same time, the school must meet with the parents and discuss the probable origins of such behavior, and how the home environment can help in changing such attitudes.

As much as possible, the school must not expel the child except when such behavior is already affecting the other children, in which case it must move to protect the other children. Every effort must be made to help the child overcome the self-destructive or anti-social behavior within the school. (This attitude is similar to a parent being infinitely patient with his or her child, and will not drive the child out of the house just because the child is repeatedly naughty.)  If the school cannot help the children, it is likely that the child will be treated in a worse way by either the parents or other schools, in which case, the school would have failed in its duty. It is better for the child to stay in a wholesome environment, even if the student fails to catch up academically, rather than suffer more rejection elsewhere, which can sometimes doom the child for life.

Using Consequences. The rules should be implemented in terms of cause-and-effect rather than out of anger and frustration. If the child breaks something, then let him know that he or his parents will have to pay for it. If the child can feel the consequences through the lessening of his allowance, then it may help him realize the cause-and-effect relationship between a behavior and his own self-interest or welfare.

It does not mean, however, that teachers or administrators will be completely unemotional about an anti-social behavior. If a teacher feels disappointment, then the teacher may tell the child of his or her feelings. Telling a child that one is disappointed or unhappy with the behavior is different from being emotionally frightened by the teacher. When the teacher is loved by the student, the student will tend to respond favorably to such a feedback, and will try not to do actions that will make the teacher unhappy. Teachers however must not use feelings to deliberately manipulate the child’s behavior. Such a manipulation is different from an honest expression of one’s disappointment.